


Counting Sheep

by VioVayo



Series: Spitfire!verse [1]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2015-04-19
Packaged: 2018-03-24 19:17:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3781333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioVayo/pseuds/VioVayo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roy wants to sleep. Edward would like the same, but can't, so Roy tells him to count sheep. He should have known that Edward has his own unique way of doing things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Counting Sheep

**Author's Note:**

> I got this idea in physics class when a friend and I started quoting constants at each other.

It was a Friday. A late Friday evening, to be exact. Like always, Roy had come home, exhausted after another particularly tiring week of successfully trying not to lose control over the chaos that was Amestris, only barely managing to take off his shoes before stumbling into the bedroom and falling into his bed.

Finally, a moment to rest. Nothing would keep him from his much-deserved sleep now.

“Hey, Roy.”

Nothing!

“Roy?”

He should’ve known this would happen.

“Rooooooy!”

Well, damn!

“What!”, Roy groaned, rolling over to face his husband with the deadliest glare he was capable of in his current state. Edward didn’t seem impressed at all, though, which wasn’t all that surprising since it was dark and he probably couldn’t see it anyway, but Roy was too tired to think that far at the moment. “If you’re going to complain about me coming home late, can we have this conversation in the morning, please? Thank you.”

“That’s not it,” the blonde said. “I can’t sleep. Do something about it.”

Roy thought he heard a pout in Edward’s voice. Under normal circumstances he would have found it endearing, but this were hardly normal circumstances. As things were, he was just irritated and very, very tired.

“That’s nice,” he said. “Goodnight.”

He turned away again and closed his eyes. Ed was going to be really pissed at him in the morning, but Roy really didn’t have the nerve to deal with him right now. He’d just ignore him now and puppy-dog-eye himself back into Edward’s good graces later. Yes, that sounded like a good plan, a marvellous plan even.

“Roy? Hey, Roy!”

Okay, maybe it was a stupid plan. There was no way he could ignore this for long and, knowing Edward, the blonde would probably keep this up for the whole night.

“What do you want me to do about it?”, Roy whined, not bothering to turn around this time. He was too tired to move, anyway. “Get you a glass of warm milk? Go get one yourself.”

There was a gagging noise coming from behind him and he felt Edward poking him between the shoulder blades with a finger. “Ew, no!” Slowly but surely Roy shifted from slightly irritated to downright annoyed. Had Ed’s voice always been so loud? “Do something else that actually helps,” the blonde said, now stabbing Roy repeatedly in the back with his index finger.

If only he had taken his gloves to bed with him. If only.

“Edward,” Roy said, keeping his voice as calm as possible. “I’m warning you, if you want to keep the rest of your body parts, please please please let me sleep. Try counting sheep or something, I don’t even care as long as you leave me the fuck alone!”

Roy rarely ever cursed, and when he did, it was serious. Edward obviously understood, as the poking finally stopped and all became quiet. Finally a success! Now Roy could finally get some much desired sleep. He’d still have to use the puppy-dog eyes on Edward in the morning, but at least there was finally silence.

Roy sighed contentedly. Peace, at last.

“Nine point one zero nine three eight one eight-“

Oh for god’s sake!

“What. The fuck. Are you doing?”

Roy did turn around this time, half sitting up, the look on his face so venomous that he was sure that Edward could feel it, even if it was too dark to see it. Edward stared back at him innocently, the expression he always wore when he knew he had done something that would piss Roy off, and said: “Or something,” as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Or… something?”

“You said I should count sheep or something. So I’m doing or something. Kinda logical if you think about it.”

Roy was more perplexed than anything else right now. He couldn’t even find it in himself to be mad anymore, the sheer weirdness of the situation making him forget any anger he might have felt before. “Yes, but-…I mean _what_ the fuck are you doing?”, he asked instead, confused.

Edward raised an eyebrow at him. “You didn’t notice? What lame kinda alchemist are you? That was supposed to be the mass of an electron, but you didn’t even let me finish.”

Oh. _Oh._ So that’s what it was.

Roy chuckled. Edward regarded him with a look that said he didn’t understand how anything about the situation could be funny or amusing and Roy burst out into full-blown laughter. They had been together for so many years now, and they knew each other in and out, and yet Edward still managed to surprise him with something new about himself every now and then.

“You’re telling me your counting sheep is reciting natural constants?”, Roy inquired, still fighting back giggles. He probably sounded silly right now, but he didn’t particularly mind. Edward already knew he was slightly crazy, after all. “You’re an individual, undeniably.”

Edward shrugged. “It helps me relax. And what’s with that reaction, your habits aren’t exactly normal either. Lemme just remind you of how-”

“Okay, I get it!”, Roy quickly interrupted before his husband could bring up any of his strange habits. He was sure Edward had them all documented in a notebook somewhere. He dared not look for it, afraid of what he might find, but he just knew it was there. “Why do I even put up with you sometimes.”

“Because you love me?”, Edward replied helpfully. “Even when I keep you awake at night?”

“About that,” Roy started, feeling his initial exhaustion come back at the reminder. “As much as I do love you, I really need to get some sleep. So please, just tell me what you want so we can get this over with and go to bed, okay?”

Edward sighed, rubbing his forehead with his hand. “You’re denser than lead, you know,” he said. “But fine, I’ll tell you, since you’re obviously not going to get it on your own.”

“Your insults flatter me, Edward. Get to the point, please.” Roy was slowly starting to get impatient again.

“Sure, whatever,” Edward huffed, although he didn’t really seem to be all that upset. “You know how we got married so we could spend our lives with each other? And now I see you like five minutes every week, which kinda pisses me off, but okay, I get that you’re busy. Still I would reeeaaally appreciate it if you didn’t just ignore me when you finally get home.”

Oh, so it was one of those conversations after all. “I thought we agreed to talk about this in the morning.”

“I didn’t agree to anything. And trust me, I still have a lot to say to you then.” Ed smirked. It was a little unsettling. Roy just hoped the puppy-dog eye strategy would still work. But then it usually did, so he was probably safe. He still made a mental note to avoid situations like this in the future.

“Then what do you want?”, he asked, actually starting to feel a little guilty now.

“Oh I dunno,” Edward answered. “A hug maybe?”

A hug.

That shouldn’t be too much of a problem.

Roy sighed, but he couldn’t keep himself from smiling. He sunk back onto the soft pillows and opened his arms for Ed to crawl into. “Fine, have it your way, but please promise to be quiet now.”

The blonde still had that smirk on his face when Roy wrapped his arms around him. “I’ll try my best.”

They both fell asleep not too long after. Tomorrow there would be hell to pay, but that would be dealt with when morning came. Right now, Roy had never slept more soundly in his life.


End file.
